The more experience you have with women, the less you will feel the need to impress. The more you will understand that the raw you is fine and a lady will either like you or not like you. And you will be happy with either. There is no need to add more to your interaction unless you want to. Don’t do something to make her like you. Do whatever you want. She will like you or not like you. That is true. Men spend their lives working to control this variable which is out of his control. He rows harder and harder upstream trying to fight nature. And sometimes he reaches his goal–but it came from struggle and emptiness. Alternately, I move with the fish. I don’t row, the current moves the boat for me. I catch the sparkling fish jumping from the water because my hands are free. I miss some of the fish, but I also catch many. And I am at peace. I don’t struggle. I see the others fighting upstream with both hands busy working. His muscles built through rowing are that of a thicker facade. When he takes a chance to catch a fish, his boat flows backward. I watch in pity.
This video of Javier Bardem is significant because you can see his demeanor is that of a man moving downstream. He approaches simply. He knows either the women will accept or not. He doesn’t fight nature. This shows his experience with women because he does less than most men would do. There is no struggle involved. He states his interest and intentions. He expresses himself. That is all. No work done. You will either like him or you will not.
“Mountains should be climbed with as little effort as possible and without desire.”
–Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance
He catches more fish going towards the people that like him and he likes back. He isn’t lonely because he mingles in crowds that like who he is and whom he likes back. He gets to choose his favorite people to be with instead of fighting to keep up in a crowd where no one wants him and he feels similar.
When there’s no work to impress, a man has time to truly observe a woman’s face, and discern whether he likes her or not. He’s not spending time thinking about how he can get her liking him, and he can relax. He can meditate. He can shift his complete focus onto that person which he is conversing. Women can notice this and see he is simply there with her, taking his time. He doesn’t try to control the forces of nature, but rides with them. He allows his inclinations to take control instead of his artifical contrivance. This is how true Purpose is carried out.
Lighthouse Theory is the natural alignment of human relationships. Everyone will end up where they should. I will end up with the people that I should end up with, because I am who I am and they are who they are and I should be with them. You will experience the same. To fight this natural alignment is to fight nature. You will end up who you are happy with because you will, as long as you don’t fight it. Boat downstream and join the ones who you were meant to be with. You will approach the ones you like, and those people will want to be with you. When you focus on the wrong people, you will not notice the smiles pointed in your direction. Those people are already waiting for you to approach, and they will be happy to be with you. You will not fight for your relationships. This city is too busy and transient to fight for certain people to be with you. In a small town this may be different. I imagine in a small town one must make a concerted effort to find and fight for the ones he wants, because they are scarce. But in New York, they are abundant. They are waiting for you, and you need to boat towards them. Love and commit to them, welcome them with open arms. Be loyal to them. Give things to them. People spend time focusing on the people who don’t care for them while neglecting the ones who do care for them. It ends up that Canada loves USA and they should be together. And like relationships in Latin cultures, Mexico can’t stay away from South America though they are hanging by a thread. Africa and India weren’t meant to be together, nor were China and Japan. Australia seems to be self-sufficient, and Europe and Asia are so different but don’t ever want to separate.
Antartica seems to be the only lonely place. Separating itself entirely from everywhere else, probably looking to find a continent that never existed and running from the ones that loved it.
I have a message for you Antartica: You move away from life and the living will strike you from their lists!